A New Perspective

Have you ever had one of those moments when you God was speaking directly to you? When you read something or hear something that was the exact thing you needed at that exact time? I love it when that happens and I'm praising the Lord it happened for me earlier this month.

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you might recall this little gem of a picture that I posted on Friday, Nov 1. (Proof that Madi does indeed cry!)

That day was probably the worst that we've had so far. She spent the entire day screaming and I wish I could say that I handled it well. That I was patient, kind, and loving. But then I wouldn't need God would I?

That weekend wasn't much better and I finally stormed out of the house Sunday night in the pouring rain and just sat on a park bench crying. I let Satan get ahold of me and everything I'd done, everything I wanted to change, and everything that I wish would happen was flooding my mind. Guilt, pain, anger, failure. You name it - I was feeling it. I was screaming to God "why, why did you do this to me if you weren't going to give me the strength to handle it?" (Dramatic I know, but thankfully the rain and lack of people outside meant minimal witnesses to my ridiculous breakdown).

That following Monday wasn't much better. The morning was good, but the afternoon was tough. I went into my bedroom (leaving Madi crying in her crib) and spoke to God out loud. I told Him I was finished. That I wasn't strong enough to do this. That I needed His help. That if He wanted me to deal with her then He better give me love and patience and He better act fast. I was neither respectful nor hopeful in my request.

Shame on me. Because He delivered in both parts. Not even 10 min later I was driven to go and pick up my daughter and console her crying and comfort her and hold her. The rest of our afternoon and evening went well. That evening I sat down to work on my Bible study Freedom for Mothers. It's been a good study so far but hadn't had that "Bang, this is awesome" effect on me. Yet.

I turned to Week 7, Day 3 and before me was the lesson that God knew I needed right then and there. He knew exactly where I was struggling and exactly what I needed at that moment. I read it twice (while of course crying - notice a theme here? I'm a big cry baby. :-) ). I handed it to Jason to read and he smiled sweetly at me and agreed that it was perfect.

Here are some of the snippets from that day's study that I underlined as I was going over it -

• Our present circumstances become our only reality if we don't have a Heavenly perspective.
• Because you are in Christ, you are in a position of authority over Satan and his dominion.
• Your life can flow with the fruit of the Spirit because of your union with Christ.
• Knowing that you are in Christ gives you a different vantage point in two critical areas:
• It gives you a perspective from which to view the daily events of your life. We live on a place up above our earthly circumstances. The stuff of this earth-both the irritating stuff and the funs tuff-is temporary and passing. You are seated with Christ in Heaven and at the same time inhabiting a body for the purpose of bringing His kingdom and His will to the earth and you will see each of those scenarios as an opportunity to be an open channel for Jesus to bring His kingdom rule onto the earth.
• You can confidently go into battle for yourself, your husband, and your children knowing that you are an overcomer because you are in Christ. We can see them [daily events of our lives] as events that God uses to produce character in us. 
• We are heirs of Christ. We do not have to stand for Satan's harassment and oppression. It is so easy to be made to feel guilty about our mothering. But one incident doesn't make you a lousy mother. Your behavior does not make you a success or failure. If you are in Christ, you are totally accepted by God and a valuable person regardless of your behavior. You are justified. Of course you need to confess your sin to God and to your children, repenting, and asking for forgiveness. 
• If you are in Christ, you are the body and the bride of the Lord Jesus Christ. You are a mother full of the virtues of Jesus Christ. 
• Satan's attachs usually give you a vague over-all feeling of depression, despair, and of being a failure. But when the Holy Spirit convicts you of something, it is specific and clear. He will shine His holy light on a particular area of sin and flesh in your life that needs confession and cleansing.
• Openly admit that you are a failure as a mother in your own strength. The truth about who you are in Christ is that you have been crucified with Christ. Your own strength is not the power source of your life - Christ is. If you are a guilt-ridden, defeated, depressed, dejected mom, how are you going to rear strong healthy children? You can't. But you can stop that cycle. You who know who you are, where you are, why you are and you can teach those truths to your children!

Reference: Freedom for Mothers, Kardo International Ministries Copyright 2009 Denise Glen

Is He good or what? Is that not exactly what I needed to hear? Yesterday and today have been a tough days. Madi has been cranky and whiny and fussy and I can't seem to comfort her or do anything to help her. I needed to look back and review these amazing truths to help me get through this afternoon. I'm not perfect. And I never will be. But I am getting better - slowly, but surely- and it's only because the Lord is giving me the strength to change and grow and become more patient and loving.