Airplane Madi

We've recently discovered a fun way to play with Madi. We hold her up in the air like an airplane! She holds her head up, laughs and smiles at us, and, if we aren't careful, covers us in drool and the occasional spit up. :-)

Look out below!

Wish this wasn't blurry :-(

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Guilt

Motherhood has been a big adjustment to me and full of surprises - both good and bad. I feel like Madi and I have finally gotten into a good routine and I am more confident in my mothering and knowing what's bothering her. It's been wonderful to feel that way and to enjoy spending time with her.  However, I still find myself constantly feeling guilty...

Guilty every time she spits up and I wonder if it was something I ate. Is she crying because I had spicy wings for dinner? Is that spit up more than usual because I had a latte yesterday? Is she still awake because I had a cup of coffee?

Guilty when I go to Bible study and I am the only one who fed their baby and dropped her off in daycare instead of holding her during the lesson. Those babies are the same age as Madi... should I have kept her? Do they think I'm a bad mom for dropping her off? This isn't even their first baby and they seem like good parents who know what they are doing. Madi is my first baby so does that mean I definitely should have kept her?

Guilty after receiving one of the nicest compliments from my friend Emily. She told me that I make motherhood look easy and I'm so relaxed and laid back and don't let the little things get to me. That's a big change in demeanor from pre-motherhood...does that mean I don't love Madison as much as I'm supposed to? Should I be more worried about going places with her or letting people hold her? Does my uncharacteristically relaxed attitude translate to not caring about her as much as I should?

Guilty dropping Madi off at the gym for me to go run on the treadmill. The logical side of my brain tells me that I don't have anything to worry about. One hour away from her isn't going to screw her up so why do I always feel a little bad every time I walk out the door there? It doesn't help on days like today when I came back into the room and Madison was in the exact same spot I left her on the play mat with the right half of her face soaked in spit up/drool while the two attendants sat watching TV...

Guilty asking Jason to try and give Madison a bottle so that I will be able to go to my evening Bible study and have friends babysit so we could go out to dinner. Madi screams and cries and refuses to take the bottle until I sit down with her and try. It breaks my heart to listen to her scream. Do we really have to give her a bottle? Is it selfish of me to want a little freedom and opportunity to go out with my husband?

Guilty for signing up for a half marathon rather than taking care of my household and spending more time with my family. Jason's working so hard and staying up late every evening... am I a terrible wife for making him wake up Saturday morning to play with Madi so I can rush out the door for my six mile run?

Guilty when I started got a cold and sore throat that I passed on to my family. Did I not keep Madi covered and dressed properly when we went outside? Was it because I left a window open that she caught a breeze? What should I have done to prevent her getting sick when I started feeling sick? It broke my heart to listen to her cough and to have to hold her down and use the nasal aspirator on her, causing her to scream and cry because she hates it so much.

I'm not sure where the guilt is stemming from and I have no idea when or if it will cease at some point. I need to do some praying and reflecting about it. Or perhaps it's the Lord's way of teaching me a lesson yet to be learned.

Fortunately, I have an amazing husband who is constantly encouraging me and reassuring me that I have no reason to feel guilty. I have a beautiful daughter who loves me and needs me and makes me heart melt when she smiles at me. And most of all, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally and has blessed me beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

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Madi's Travel Tips

Madi did fabulous traveling to Oslo for her passport. She thought it would be a good idea to put together a list of things that helped her be such an amazing traveller.

Madi's 10 Travel Tips -

10. Make sure everything has it's place in your bags. That way Mommy and Daddy don't spend unnecessary time looking through everything for what I need.

9. Make sure to let me watch everything. I love observing everyone so traveling in a baby carrier that faces outwards or a stroller where I can look at things are definitely my favs!

8. Bring extras. Extra outfits (sorry about that explosion at TGIFridays...), extra blankets in case one is left in the hotel room, and extra pacis.

7. Make sure you have my medicine and the nasal aspirator in case I get stuffy. Wait, I didn't want you to remember those! Especially the nasal aspirator... I hate that thing!

6. Don't forget my toys. I particularly love my Sofie the giraffe and my Vera Bradley bunny blanket.

5. Forget the big camera. You aren't going to have time to get it out and get ready for the picture before I've moved on. iPhone it is if you want anything. And make sure I don't see the phone because once I do, I stop whatever it is I'm doing so I can stare at it.

4. Always leave extra time. You never know when I might need to talk to you a bit, have an outfit change, maybe smile at you, and even sometimes whine a bit.

3. Keep my routine. You can take me places and go out and about, but I like my eat, wake, sleep routine and bath time every night and snuggling in my pajamas.

2. Feed me whenever, where ever. You get hungry and you eat. Same with me. I am a great eater whether it's in the restroom of the museum, the booth at our restaurant, or the table outside in the park while Mommy and Daddy are eating ice cream.

I'm happy because I just had my afternoon snack in the park!

But the biggest thing that makes traveling with me such a breeze -

1. Stop caring what other people think. I might need to cry a bit at an inconvenient place.  Or I might need your attention while you are trying to check-in or load the luggage or pay for your food. And I can't always time my diaper changes to your schedule. Stop worrying what other people think and do what you need to do in order to take care of me!

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